Five 2012 Films I Couldn’t Care Less About

Here is the  follow up to my previous ‘five 2012 films that I can’t wait for‘ list.  Obviously, opinions on these are purely based on my expectations and I will happily eat my words and waddle along to the local cinema if they turn out to be good.

 

1. The Avengers

Dir: Joss Whedon
Release Date: 27th April, 2012
Starring: Robert Downey Jr, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Evans, Samuel L Jackson

This is going to be one of the biggest films of the year.  I quite enjoyed the first Iron-Man, but generally I don’t get on with Marvel films and comic book films in general.  This is one i’ll be avoiding unless I hear some positive reviews from trusted sources.

 

2. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D

Dir: George Lucas
Release Date: TBA
Starring: Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman

I love Star Wars and might have been tempted by this if it was the originals, but the prequels were all pretty bad, and retrofitted 3D isn’t going to change that.  The last thing I want to see is Jar Jar Binks with one more dimension, two was quite enough.  I might consider handing over more of my money to Lucas when they get to the good ones though.

 

3. Wrath of the Titans

Dir: Jonathan Liebesman
Release Date: 30th March, 2012
Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Rosamund Pike

To be honest I didn’t see Clash of the Titans, but by all accounts it was fairly terrible.  Now we have a 3D sequel, which WILL make a lot of money and provide further evidence that people will go and see anything that is heavily marketed and has a shiny looking trailer.  If someone gives me a free ticket, I might consider it.

 

4. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

Dir: Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Release Date: 22nd February, 2012
Starring: Nicolas cage, Ciaran Hinds, Idris Elba

Ghost Rider was shockingly bad, i really don’t know why they’re bothering.  You could take a bit of hope from the fact that there is an all new writing and directing line-up, but my expectations are still rock bottom.  If someone gives me a free ticket, I will not go.

 

5. Scary Movie 5

Dir: does it matter?
Release Date: I’m not telling you, if you want to know, look it up for yourself.
Starring:  I don’t know…a couple of Wayans? Ludacris?

Why do people continue to go and see these?  The first couple were acceptable but come on.  There’s only one way to end this, otherwise they’ll go on forever, vote at the box office, don’t go, please.

 

 

Honourable Mentions: Madagascar 3, Journey 2, Ice Age: Continental Drift, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, Step Up 4 and Paranormal Activity 4.

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17 comments

  1. I totally agree, except for the first one. I’m a Marvel-obsessed, there’s nothing I can do about it.

    But, seriously, a new Scary Movie?! I didn’t know about it. The only ones I liked were the first and the third one. And some parts of the fourth actually, just when Leslie Nielsen was in it. But overall yeah, power to the people: please people, don’t go and stop this!

    Nice blog, btw. I’ll definitely stick around.

  2. I agree with all, though I’m giving The Avengers a chance- and maybe Ghostrider too seeing the directors have changed (and it can’t be much worse than the first one). And ugh, Scary Movie 5? I didn’t even find the first few acceptable, personally. Terrible.

  3. Ohhhhh mannnn… lumping “The Avengers” in with Scary Movie 5 and the Clash of the Titans sequel? Cmonnn Thats not nice!

    😀

    Obviously I disagree.

    I did want to point out though (even though I’m sure – being a superhero movie it wont change your mind) The new Ghost Rider being directed by Neveldine and Taylor will make it much different I think. Better. Still a superhero flick, still Ghost Rider. But not the dreck the first one was. I sat through their panel to get to the Avengers at New York Comic Con and what they presented looked – honestly? Good.

  4. Good calls! I was having a discussion with a friend about the Avengers and Marvel films in general. We came to the conclusion that the filmmakers are now obsessed with “winking” at the audience. Place a Captain America shield here or there (Iron Man), throw in a glimpse of Hawkeye (Thor), etc. This wouldn’t be problem if the films were good, but instead, you just get these “winks” in a film so riddled with plot holes and inane conversation that it looks like cinematic swiss cheese.

  5. Yeah I couldn’t agree more. I’m not sure, i just seem to find their films really arrogant, like if they could talk they’d be saying “look at me, look how funny I am!”

  6. I’m on for Avengers, though I wasn’t all that moved by the teaser. At this point I’m 100% invested in the cinematic culmination of the Marvel franchise pictures released over the course of the last half a decade or so– I think I’m obligated to check it out. That said, Tony Stark’s “well, hey, if we can’t protect Earth, we’ll avenge it instead” line is horrendous, and I hope either that it’s cut entirely or that it plays better in context. Great, Tony, wonderful, I’m glad you’ll avenge my smoldering corpse once Loki torches the entire Eastern coastline, that’s very comforting.

    And I think I’m in for Ghost Rider 2, but then again, I don’t want to get suckered into another terrible adaptation of one of my favorite superheroes just because I like the people in the director’s chair. I dig Neveldine and Taylor– well, Crank 1 at least– and I AM genuinely curious to see what they bring to this picture.

    As to the rest, yeah. I’m with you 100%.

    • I see rodders mentioned crank as well, to be honest i don’t know much about these directors and haven’t seen crank, but there seems to be a bit of positivity about them and their ideas (see fogs post earlier).

  7. I’m pretty much a huge comic book fan, so its obvious how I feel about The Avengers. As for Ghost Rider, the directors did Crank and Crank 2, two films I thoroughly enjoyed, so i’m holding out hope this one will be much better than the last one. I 100% agree with the other 3 choices, especially Scary Movie 5

  8. I agree with all your choices save The Avengers – man, I am hyped to see that film! Star Wars Prequels in 3D? Give me a break George. The entire world doesn’t want to see them, only the original classics, so forgo all the cinematic torture you’re about to inflict and go staright to the films everyone actually wants!!

  9. I saw the 3d trailer for Phantom Menace with Hugo and there is absolutely no reason to see it. Save for a pod race, there is nothing worthwhile, unless you can reach out and choke Jar-Jar.

  10. 100% agree. Why on earth is there a “Ghost Rider 2.” I mean, will someone please stage an intervention for Nicolas Cage’s career – or let’s all hold a requiem for an Oscar winner.


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